Dune ([info]dune_drd) wrote,
@ 2007-06-17 14:10:00
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Entry tags:drabble: dw

Drabble: Mistakes
Title: Mistakes
Characters: Ten, Jack
Spoilers: Utopia
Words: Exactly 100, whohoo.
Notes: Unbetaed, just written. Just a little vignette for the first few minutes of Utopia. Tell me if this is any good? Maybe not, but I'm totally confused where to crosspost this, anyway ;)
Fic Masterlist: Here.


He's not used to this, he realises when his eyes fall onto the dead Captain, lying in the dirt.

He can't feel this planet turning, and the TARDIS shivers in his mind. He can't bear to stare at facts. The universe should be constant change, space-time a tool for probability, not like this, frozen, wrong.

It's painful to look at facts, seeing all his mistakes, cemented forever into one immortal man. This must be how powerless humans feel all the time, he thinks.

"I'm sorry, Jack," he whispers before averting his eyes, the facts just too painful to look at.



(20 comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]xwingace
2007-06-17 12:43 pm UTC (link)
Reverse the order of 'TARDIS' and 'the', and all is perfection. :-)

XWA

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[info]dune_drd
2007-06-17 01:06 pm UTC (link)
D'oh! ^^

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[info]jadesfire2808
2007-06-17 04:17 pm UTC (link)
Guh. Brilliant, just right. The shiver of the TARDIS is perfect. Actually, it's making me shiver... Great writing.

um, needs a comma after "sorry" to truly be perfect ;)

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[info]dune_drd
2007-06-17 05:21 pm UTC (link)
Added the comma, thanks :)

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[info]wendymr
2007-06-17 06:00 pm UTC (link)
Oh, I love that! This is going to be the episode that spawns a thousand fics, isn't it? Especially drabbles. Already written two myself and I'm sure there'll be more.

Anyway, that's just brilliant. Really, really good.

seeing all his mistakes, cemented forever into one immortal man

I'd take out the comma after 'mistakes' - but that bit made my spine tingle. As did the TARDIS shivering.

God. Just beautiful. Like the episode!

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[info]dune_drd
2007-06-20 10:14 pm UTC (link)
I don't know what it was about Utopia, just made my muse come back for a second or two. Thank you for reading

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[info]trobadora
2007-06-17 06:22 pm UTC (link)
Hi, I just stumbled across this on friendsfriends, and it's utterly awesome. I have such a craving for fic after Utopia, and this is perfect. Thank you!

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[info]dune_drd
2007-06-20 10:15 pm UTC (link)
glad to hear that I could help, then :)

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[info]padawanpooh
2007-06-17 06:32 pm UTC (link)
*sniff* You've captured the emotion of the scene beautifully.

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[info]dune_drd
2007-06-20 10:15 pm UTC (link)
thank you :)

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[info]jenmorrioghan
2007-06-17 07:05 pm UTC (link)
This is brilliant. You brought so much meaning to that apology. The description is so very vivid and powerful. :)

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[info]dune_drd
2007-06-20 10:16 pm UTC (link)
Thank you!

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[info]adafrog
2007-06-17 07:13 pm UTC (link)
Very nice.

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[info]dune_drd
2007-06-20 10:16 pm UTC (link)
thanks :)

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[info]crabby_lioness
2007-06-17 08:38 pm UTC (link)
Excellent. Although I disagree with Ten's assessment of the TARDIS' reaction. She always knows what She is doing far better than he ever does.

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[info]dune_drd
2007-06-20 10:17 pm UTC (link)
She's just a bit confused, I'm convinced she still loves him very, very much.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]sunstar77
2007-06-17 10:36 pm UTC (link)
Wow, nicely done.

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[info]dune_drd
2007-06-20 10:17 pm UTC (link)
thanks ^^

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[info]naye
2007-06-17 11:09 pm UTC (link)
Beautiful. Absolutely heartbreaking in its insights.

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[info]dune_drd
2007-06-20 10:17 pm UTC (link)
Thanks :)

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(20 comments) - (Post a new comment)

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