Current mood:	apathetic
Entry tags:	fic, fic: tw

Fic: A Long Time Ago
Yes, me again. I hide from RL, I admit it. It's nicer in here anyway. If you want me, I'm over here, cowering in this corner. And post generic Jack/Ianto fic. Hooray.

Title: A Long Time Ago
Rating: PG-13
Summary: "One day, I'll have the chance to save you Jack, and I'll watch you suffer and die."
Characters: Jack/Ianto
Words: 1182
Notes: Set after 'Cyberwoman'. Originally written for tw_wotd_fic for the prompt 'extemporaneous'. Thanks - as always- to my beta xwingace, who always succeeds in making my fics so much better.
Fic Masterlist: Here, archived at alien_sands



Long ago, it would've meant something when a friend condemned him to death. Jack still remembered the hurt the realization that his trust wasn't justified used to cause. It was --like so much else nowadays-- only a dim memory of feelings he'd left behind on his slow path through time.

He left the Agency because of that pain, tried to pay it back with petty little cons, hoping it would satisfy his thirst for revenge. He had just declared his determination to never trust again when a blonde in a Union Jack literally fell into his lap. He'd been lost then and there, instantly trusting those two strangers who danced into his life. His belief in them had killed him and his trust had broken him when he had woken up again.

He thought he had learned his lesson then.

Air and life rushed back into his lungs, the pain in his head so unbearable he pressed it out with a hiss, leaving him breathless.
He blinked to get his own blood out of his eyes while behind him the screech of metal on metal told him the door was opening again. Belatedly he realized he was still clutching his weapon, as if the empty gun could protect him from what was coming towards him. But the crimson shadow moving towards him was not another attacking Weevil.
It moved too slowly, too hesitantly and by the gasp directed at his crumpled form he could tell it was the bastard who'd shut that bloody metal door in his face. Shut the door and locked him in with the pack of Weevils that had been following them.

"I-I killed you," Ianto's voice was no more than a faint whisper, stumbling over the words.

Jack wiped his eyes, only now able to focus properly on Ianto's pale face above him. He had never known Ianto would take his death threats so seriously. All it had taken was an opportunity. He should've known. Quick patrol down in the sewers to take Ianto's mind off Lisa. Sometimes he couldn't believe how stupid he was. Trust.

Jack pushed himself into a sitting position, still followed by Ianto's astonished gaze. He made an effort to keep his voice casual. "Saw that coming." In fact he hadn't, which made things even worse. He was clearly getting old.

Ianto stood looking down at him, mouth working silently as the only outward sign of his attempts to get past the shock. "I killed you," he eventually managed to repeat, trailing off after the last word. Shock wasn't the only emotion in his voice, however. There was also something that might've been a tinge of regret, and a little fear of what he had done. Certainly not a combination of emotions Jack had encountered very often after waking up from death.

He got up, grabbing Ianto's arm for balance and then holding on to it to make the younger man look him in the eye. The pack of Weevils down in the sewers, their run, the door to safety shut and locked in his face; he could see it replayed there now, in the face of this terrified child.

A long time ago he would’ve been furious. Now he only wanted Ianto to understand that things were never that simple.

"Weevils don't eat dead things, they need the kill."

Six shots, five dead Weevils. Did Ianto really think he was such a bad shot? He should know better after their night on the shooting range.

He could feel Ianto's eyes on his temple, probably staring at the spot where Jack could still feel the bullet hole closing up in slow motion, its pain radiating through his entire being. The tingling sensation nearly drove him mad, as it did every time. He hid it behind his well-practised stare, as he did every time. It was still so much more bearable than being torn to pieces by angry aliens.

Ianto's eyes, for a moment not glazed over with shock, locked with Jack's. His brain was clearly not yet able to ask the important questions, but it was slowly shaking off the shock and inertia. Ianto's shoulders lifted almost imperceptibly.

His eyebrows followed, rising noticeably as some sort of realisation struck. "You killed yourself?"

Was that relief in Ianto's voice? Jack would've counted on disappointment.

Jack felt his own shoulders drop. "No Ianto, you killed me."

He wanted to be angry, feel betrayed, but all he could do was realizing how very tired he was. Emotions, once so sharp and hurting were only a dull ache, resonating with the pain of his healing skull. He pressed a hand to the wound in a futile attempt to alleviate the pain, only succeeding in making it worse. Then again, pain was the only thing able to awake emotions sometimes, and it did now. As the pain of the shot rang through his head again, it stirred the age-worn anger awake. Jack used it to straighten his back and shoulders. This wasn't the time to show weariness.

"Satisfied now, Ianto?" his voice rang back from the damp brick walls with the desperate urge to know, but Ianto just gaped, unshed tears so close to making their way out. Jack knew he was getting nothing more than this, but it wasn't enough.

The kiss he forced onto the closed lips was as much a punishment as an attempt to get a reaction out of the frozen man in front of him. It took remarkably long before he realized Ianto was responding, clinging to him and opening to the kiss, the tension leaving his body. It was Jack who broke their kiss, breathing hard, staring at a confused Ianto, not too sure who was punishing who.

"I'm sorry." Ianto mumbled over and over again on their way back to the Hub, clearly not having the strength to elaborate. He was slipping back into catatonia again. Even the familiar surroundings and the reasonably comfortable sofa couldn't shake the Welshman out of it. He was still shaking after the third glass of Jack's Special Occasion Whiskey.

Jack sat and watched. He knew without asking that the desperate way Ianto gulped the alcohol down so quickly was the hope for Retcon in there. Of course there wasn't, but the whiskey couldn't hurt the boy to get some sleep.

They could talk tomorrow, if Ianto would ever mention this again. He could see the young man silently slipping back into routine once he'd had the night to think about it. Maybe tomorrow the questions would start, but that was preferable to the same thing happening over and over again, Ianto killing him every time the circumstances allowed it.

Jack stopped a moment and considered the sleepy Welshman. When had things started to get so complicated? When had he started to think about tomorrows? A long time ago this would've been the perfect moment to sneak away, never to be seen again. He had been so good at that a long time ago.

I’m sorry...

Jack sighed. A long time ago that would’ve meant something.